In case you decide to stop by tonight, I figured I would leave this letter for you. I’m sorry that I haven’t wrote in a number of years, but I suppose once all the other kids told me you weren’t real it seemed rather pointless. For that same reason, I haven’t left out any cookies or milk. Also, you never know about people’s dietary restrictions and preferences these days. Can you believe all the different kinds of milk we have now? 

Make no mistake, you are more than welcome to raid the fridge and cabinets. There’s the awfullest mess there ever was of food in there if you like. We are very blessed here, and there’s no way we will ever eat it all. While you’re in the fridge, you should know that while it may appear we survive on mostly butter, I assure you those containers are full of leftovers. Sorry, but they aren’t labeled, so you kinda have to just open them up and pick through while you make yourself a plate. 

I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you what I want this year. Forgive my ignorance, but there is a lot of conflicting information on how all your Christmas magic works. For instance, some say the elves make all the toys, but then others say your super special Santa sack can produce any toy at any time. In any case, if you don’t have one for me this year then next year will be just as good.

You know, now that I’m here I don’t know what to ask for. I’m very lucky to have a good job that pays well enough for me to get anything I need. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean I’m going to ask for peace on Earth, for you to end world hunger, or some other conceptualized undeliverable that really just serves to make me feel better about myself. You must get very tired of people asking you for something not within your power to give. Especially when all of us here south of the North Pole ultimately DO have the power to get these things for ourselves. 

How strange we southerners must be to you sometimes. Also, how funny it must be for you to hear us call ourselves by our geographic positions relative to one another, especially on a globe no less! After all, Asia is just as much west of me as it is east, yet they are called the East. They have Eastern religions, Eastern medicine, and so on. Likewise, we are just as much east of The East as we are west, but we are called the West.  We live by Western philosophy, and have a western way of life. Even more so, I live in West Virginia, so it gets really silly. See, the North views us as Southerners, but the Deep South would call us Northerners. I think most of us in this state would consider ourselves Southern in culture, but it is only because we allied with The North in the American Civil War that we seceded from Virginia. After that, did we call ourselves North Virginia? No! We called ourselves West Virginia! Ho ho ho! How funny we must seem to you there at the top of the world!

I think I’ve got it! Do you think you could work with some travel agency to get me a ticket to the North Pole? I’ve heard astronauts talk about seeing the Earth from up there in space, and how it puts everything into a new perspective. I suppose it really would affect a person to see all you’ve ever known, loved, and lost- indeed, all that we may ever be- floating alone among the stars. I don’t think I’ll ever make it to space, but I think I could make do with the view from the top of the world. From there I could look down in each direction, addressing a new country or continent with every turn, spinning in a slow circle as I pray for the entire world.

Then again, now that I think about it, I suppose I could do that from right here just as well. If only I took the time to do it. 

I guess there truly is nothing I can ask for, Santa. I think just writing this letter to you has given me the gift of a greater view of the world and my place in it. If you have any extra AA or AAA batteries those would probably be appreciated tomorrow when we open gifts. Seems like someone always gets something that needs batteries, and of course they don’t come included. So then we have to search through the junk drawer for some mismatched pair that God only knows if they actually have a charge or not. Or socks! Socks are always nice, and I always forget to buy them until it’s too late. By then, my last pair has holes in them, which means I have to wear dress socks with tennis shoes, and it just feels weird doing that.

Anyways, Merry Christmas, Santa! Be careful out there, and watch for deer!

-Harrison